Name something specific
The goodbye letter is the one children keep, so it is worth two minutes of thought. One specific thing per child, named plainly: you shared the new bike without being asked, you got yourself ready for school every morning, you were kind to the new child in your class.
Vague praise reads as a form letter even to a six year old. If you have more than one child, make sure the two things you name are genuinely different, because they will compare.
The return promise
Children ask whether the elf is coming back before they finish reading. There is an optional closing line that says it will return next year. Include it unless you are quietly retiring the tradition, in which case leave it out rather than saying no outright, and nobody has to have that conversation.
Where to leave it
With the elf, in the spot it has been in, so the children find the letter and the empty spot together. Some families have the elf gone and only the letter remaining, which works better for older children and worse for younger ones, who want to know where it went.
Three lengths are available. Short is four lines and suits a three or four year old. The long version adds a paragraph about the journey back, which a seven year old will read twice.
Questions
- When should the elf goodbye letter be left?
- Christmas Eve, in the spot the elf has been using, so the children find the letter and the empty place at the same time.
- What should the goodbye letter say?
- One specific thing each child did well, named plainly rather than vaguely, and a closing line about going back to the North Pole. Specific praise is the part children keep.
- Should the letter promise the elf will return?
- Include the optional return line unless you are quietly ending the tradition, in which case simply leave it out rather than saying no, and the question does not arise.
- How long should it be?
- Four lines for a three or four year old, eight for most children, and the long version with a paragraph about the journey back for a child of six or seven who will read it themselves.